This post is, admittedly, reactionary. Too many undergrads acting dumb and too many authors at work being clueless have pushed me over the edge. I'll try to temper the letters I want to write these offending parties and keep to the basics. Because I realize they are not self-evident. And that while they feel second nature to me, it's only because I was 1) my mother would withhold tv privileges/dessert/etc if I didn't send my thank you cards and 2) my professional jobs require these kinds of emails for their files. This has all been reinforced by the "getting a job" books I've been reading recently.
What I'm talking about is the basic thank you and how to nicely ask for information.
First. If someone sends you information--a link, a cfp, a newspaper article related to your research topic--send them a thank you note. If this is an unprompted email or message, it means you are on this person's radar. Stay on their radar. You never know if they will be sending you the next dream job notice (or, ahem, snowflakes: the awesomest scholarship ever). Even if this is for something that has nothing to do with your research or interests, thank them. Not only does a thank you keep you on the sender's radar, but when you do have to go to that person for help or information, your sender will remember you as either a polite and prompt person or as a total ingrate. [I'm not making this up--I have seen students' grades lowered on account of their social skills, or rather, lack thereof. I have also seen pushy or ungrateful authors' manuscripts shuffled to the bottom of the pile, lost for months.]
"Dear XX,
Thanks so much for thinking of me. This XX looks interesting, thanks for passing it along. Hope you are doing well. Best wishes, Leadfoot"
Late thank yous are better than never thank yous. Miss Manners has it right for important messages--it's all about how you have left the other person hanging, not how busy or uninterested you are. Otherwise, a brief acknowledgment email is fine.
"DearXX,
My apologies for such a tardy response to your note about XXXX. Thanks so much for passing along this link/cfp/etc. I hope you are doing well and [fill in the blank with whatever personal pleasantry you can add about the weather, their work, their children or pets]. Regards, Leadfoot"
Second. If you are dealing with someone who is doing something for you (even if it is their job), thank them. Nicely. As someone who regularly deals with book authors, let me tell you: thank yous to low people on the ladder are just as important as the top dogs. (Can I mix anymore hackneyed metaphors?). If you are nice and utter gratefully for all the help I give you (even if it is to make some lame excuse for my boss's inattention) you will be rewarded. I will totally pull strings for you, put in a good word for you, and make sure you get what you want. I will give you info I'm not supposed to share. No acknowledgement of what all I've done for you (even if it is my job)? No effusive email thanking me for all the information I've given you? Yeah, that totally gets remembered. It's punitive and petty and very much a reality. So whine about the unfairness of it or just accept it and play the game. This rule applies to advisors who have to write you recommendation letters and it applies to the intake secretary at the Dean's office. Again, this email doesn't have to be long or over the top. Just a brief note is fine.
"Dear XXX,
Thanks for letting me know you received my manuscript/application. Please let me know if you need any other materials from me OR please let me know if you have difficulty opening these files. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Sincerely, Leadfoot."
Third. If you ask someone to do something like come speak to a group, read your job letter, sit down to an informational interview or something else the generally takes away from their schedule for the benefit of yours. SEND THEM A THANK YOU NOTE. And promptly. Like day of. All the job books say this. Do NOT slack on this. At all. And, depending on circumstances, real notes may be in order. So stock up on stationery. It's always better to overkill.
Fourth. It's all about being nice to someone and not pissing them off. You are a professional. You want to be treated as a professional. Act like a professional. For example, at my hourly job a new book competition just ended which required multiple files to be sent to a generic email. I was the one receiving and processing these emails. This was an international competition, leading one to rightly believe that I had to handle a lot of messages. Sending the following email, hours before the deadline, wins you no points.
"Please find attached my files for Book Competition. Please ignore my previous email. Apparently I had not saved corrections before sending. Thanks for your consideration."
I don't care that you are an associate prof. You just cost me twenty five minutes because your original files were a funky format and now I have to go back, meticulously delete previous files, save new files, recycle old printouts, kill another tree for your new printouts, update the database, and send you a second acknowledgment email, being sure that I change the stock letter to say that I'm talking about your new submission. All the while not getting confused by the 40 other submissions that also came in minutes before the deadline and are now sitting in my inbox. If you are an associate prof, you should know better than to send emails without checking them twice. Don't piss me off, I might just accidentally lose your new printouts. Again, this is punitive and petty but a reality. If you must absolutely switch files or update something, see Miss Manners' approach above. There is never enough ass kissing.
Does this all feel like brown nosing? It is, but so what? Brown nosing and being nice gets things done. Laying down the smack when you are powerless usually keeps you powerless. I once wiggled out of a very expensive campus housing contract because I was nice. The housing administrator actually told me that was the reason she was making the very rare exception for me. That was a lesson I'll never forget. Smiles and niceness gets you far.
Fifth. You want something from someone. Here's some stock phrases.
--if you want to make sure someone received your email: "I would greatly appreciate, at your convenience, confirmation of receipt." Or simply, "please confirm receipt".
---if you want information about something: "I hate to bother you, but I was wondering if you could..." or "I realize you are very busy. At your convenience, I would appreciate any answers to my query regarding..."
Don't ask stupid questions, like "even though the Book Competition rules say that you want a sample chapter, will you consider a proposal without sample material?" Don't ask offensive questions like "I see your Book Competition provides a travel stipend if a book is chosen. How much is that travel stipend?" Questions like the following fall under both categories: "What was the assignment requirements/time of the advertised event?"
--if you want to get out of something: "After lengthy consideration, I regret that I must withdraw/decline from XXX. I greatly appreciate the opportunity to XXX and am sorry that I will not be able to contribute to XXX. My apologies for not updating you sooner."
-if you want to commit someone to an agreement: "I'll look forward to receiving your XX by Date. If you find that you will need more time to complete XXX, please feel free to let me know so I can adjust the expected due date accordingly."
--if you want something that someone is negligent on: "I noticed that your XX was due last XX. I know these tasks are sometimes difficult to complete. Can I expect your XX next week, Date?" Feel free to use the plural "we" or as much passive voice as you want in this and the two situations above.
--if you have to apologize for a screw up--your own or a colleague's: "Many thanks for your prompt reply. I'm terribly sorry to hear your relationship with XX to this point has been frustrating. My apologies for the inattentions. We'll work towards making things run more smoothly from here on out."
This all sounds lame and forced and fake. It is. But that's besides the point. It's all about the intent and what it accomplishes. Does it stroke egos? Does it make people feel loved and respected? Even if you gag as you write it, say it with a smile. Now of course this doesn't apply to abusive or inappropriate or out of line interlocutors, but in general being nice and attentive gets you farther than anything else.
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